Soliloquy of Solace

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Step to the ledge of the blackest abyss

That fatal step into dreamland

I’ll take you to dreamland

Come close and take my hand

Escape all the horrors you know you won’t miss

And embrace the darkness with a tender kiss

The shadows are dancing all over the walls

You shut out the screaming as destiny calls

You know they are dreaming of your sacrifice

But you know how their ending will just not suffice

They promise you closure if you write your own end

The mistake is in thinking that you hold the pen

Why am I so burdened to become so blessed?

When I think of the evils that I have conceived

And all of the sins that I have confessed

I realize now that I never believed

And on this side of heaven, I’ll never find rest.

This pain I feel is so existential

And to know my own life is experimental

Offers no peace to my nomadic heart

The sinews of conscience are tearing apart

So maybe the veil is where solace resides

Where wheat from the tares, the angel divides

In the valley of shadows is waiting for me

A pillow of woe upon which to sleep

And yet as I stand with my feet on the ledge

And cautiously gaze soft over the edge

There’s something within me that’s holding me back

That keeps me from plunging down into the black

So give me a reason to fight and remain

To selflessly wrench through the fear and the pain

Look deep in my eyes and show me the worth

In preserving this life and its brief time on earth

But I cannot be like you, I cannot conform

To bow to cliche, and become status quo

I have tested the fires of bloody reform

And yet I’ve been drowning, my baggage in tow

Another lost victim chalked up to the storm

So tell me the answer

Please show me the way

My fear is a cancer

I can’t keep at bay

You tell me there’s hope

But I just don’t see it

So how can you expect me to ever believe it?

___

Now faith is the substance of all that we hope,

The evidence of all that we cannot see

You have to believe that there’s more than the rope

A purpose much greater than what you perceive

Just look at the stars and tell me they’re nothing

Just look at the sunrise and tell me I’m wrong

You have to believe that we all came from something

This epic creation to which you belong

If you are the center of all that exists

Than it is no wonder you are lost

Lift your eyes unto the hills.

Where does your hope come from?

Your hope comes from the Lord,

Who made heaven and earth.

~j.d.schofield

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