The Trajectories of Lazy Loving

rocks

Up in the morning and back down at night,

This subtle notion we’re not doing this right.

The mechanical dance that we’re both locked into,

Seems comfortably toxic and hard to undo.

It’s just way too easy to keep on moving,

With no real direction or hope of improving.

Up in the morning and back down at night,

We’re no longer talking, but at least we don’t fight.

We’re inches a way, yet miles apart;

An incalculable distance from me to your heart.

So how did we get here? How did we fall?

How did we build this most comfortable wall?

 Must we suffer through our own decomposition,

These fights without fighting, and wars of attrition?

The poignant poisons of lazy loving,

Accidental isolation, and emotional shoving,

Are leaving deep marks we’d never intend,

But inevitably happen when we only pretend.

We could play the black game of blame

Point hateful fingers and say, “you’re not the same.”

It’s so simple to see how it’s you and not me,

The person who gave up much too easily.

But truth be told, I’ve lost you, darling,

In a wasteland of all my apathetic affections

Where I’m too caught up in my own imperfections

Where my pride is a ghost that tells me I’m worthless

And I’ll never be more than worthless

And all that I attempt is worthless

And to try is to fail

And to fail is to fail you

Forgive me for this.

I know we are capable of reclaiming bliss.

And by the God who made me and gave me to you,

I know there is nothing that we cannot do.

If love is a fire, then let us rekindle,

These starving flames that seem only to dwindle.

Let’s purpose to pursue with desperate desire,

An unquenchable heat that glows from the fire.

I think it must start with a shift in my heart,

A drive to prevent us from drifting apart.

To lose myself in the pursuit of your love,

And to know God’s provision is always enough.

It’s only through Him that dreams can come true,

And it’s truly a dream that He gave me to you.

~j.d.schofield

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