You’re not doing your credibility any favors.

You built up this world.

You created this microcosm, and made me feel it was the only one.

Your system is dying.

Your system is breaking to pieces, and you aren’t fooling anyone anymore.

I should hate you for this. You built a world, and made me fiercely loyal to it.

I genuinely Loved you. I supported you. I am literally in debt to you.

But you aren’t fulfilling your end of the bargain.

You’re just going to lay down and bleed.

You’re just going to roll over and die.

That’s not what you taught me to do.

And I am just supposed to be content as you leave.

Prove me wrong.

You came from humble beginnings.

Maybe you went too far too fast.

Maybe you lost sight of your purpose.

Maybe I’m wrong, and it’s just time for you to flat-line and expire.

Maybe it’s good you’ve been forced to your knees.

Cut out the hindrances.

Shed off the tares.

Let the dross be blasted away.

Become something newer and better.

The crucible isn’t meant to destroy you.

It’s meant to make you what you are supposed to be.

I want to believe in what you helped create me to be.

I’m waiting for you to give me a reason to keep on.

Fortunately, there is something so much greater than you.

Fortunately, I don’t need you.

I do want you, but if you have to go, I’ll survive just fine.

I’ll miss you, but I’ll be okay.

I am not alone. You taught me that.

But this is where the gears of your conviction will be put to the test.

This is where you are put up to the wall, with the knife to your throat.

The whole world is watching. The whole world is watching as you choose.

Will you fight? Don’t resign yourself to a false fate.

Don’t fulfill the prophecy that everyone else is making.

We are watching. Remember that.

If something is worth believing in, it must be worth fighting for.


2 responses to “Grievances

  1. Enjoyed reading this today. Thank you for your thoughts. Do you know that Northland didn’t make the decision to close, that our board is still deliberating what to do? That Southern is not keeping their end of the bargain and so we are left with thousands of debt and have 2 weeks before graduation to figure it all out? Probably you do know, but I just wanted to make sure because it didn’t seem like you did from the poetry. Karolyn

    • Thanks for reading, Karolyn, and thanks for taking a moment to share your thoughts. I do know all you have mentioned. I am in prayer as the board is deciding how to proceed. I am in no way bitter, or angry. I will be at peace with whatever is decided. I needed to vocalize what I believe many are feeling, and encourage the leadership not to throw in the towel, as I know that very difficult choices are in order. I am sincerely thankful for Northland’s influence on not only my own life, but the lives of countless others. It is because of this influence I believe it imperative to remind people that God is sovereign, and that we need to trust in his providence – which may or may not mean fighting to survive in the face of overwhelming odds. Having gone through the final days of Pillsbury Baptist Bible College, I have realized that God will have is way whatever is decided, but there are people at the heart of this issue who will be responsible to make the call – I know God will sovereignly lead, I only hope that the leadership is open to whatever that may mean. I do not believe it has to mean the end of Northland.

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